Utterly Meaningless » 2009 » October

SORRY, KIDS…

Filed on October 31, 2009 at 6:29 am under by dcobranchi

We’re not handing out candy this year. It’s eeeeevil.

During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

Yes, candy is eeeeeevil. But is it concentrated Evil? That’s what I want to know.

MLB: HIRE ME!

Filed on October 30, 2009 at 6:28 am under by dcobranchi

More questionable umpiring in Game 2 last night, one against each team.

I got both calls right in real time.

OH, GOD!

Filed on October 28, 2009 at 4:20 am under by dcobranchi

Are y’all watching Mr. Deity Season 3? If not, you decent sample of random atheist liberals ought to be. The latest has Lucy/Lucifer arguing for science and rationality.

CoH

Filed on October 27, 2009 at 4:35 pm under by dcobranchi

200th edition here.

FUCK GM!

Filed on October 26, 2009 at 10:36 pm under by dcobranchi

For years and years they claimed that their surveys said consumers didn’t care about mpg. They lied.

Well, this reinforces my earlier decision to never buy a GM product.

DEAR DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE

Filed on at 11:57 am under by dcobranchi

Yes, I really was serious. No more money until after the Senate passes a bill with a real public option. Snowe’s trigger would be a billion dollar gift to the deservedly hated insurance industry. If the Democratic Party wants to commit electoral suicide, I don’t feel it necessary to assist the suicide with my dollars.

UPDATE 3:20 p.m. Harry Reid has just announced that the bill put forward to the floor will include the opt-out public option!

WORDS TO LIVE BY

Filed on October 25, 2009 at 7:02 am under by dcobranchi

The good doctor is speaking specifically about alternative “treatments” for cancer, but the ideas are equally valid for vaccines. The anti-science wackos should, but won’t, take note.

JOHN DEWEY: PROTO-UNSCHOOLER

Filed on at 5:55 am under by dcobranchi

Yeah, the education guru had some radical ideas. And the fundies hated him, too.

THE END OF THE WORLD AS THEY KNOW IT

Filed on October 23, 2009 at 5:18 pm under by dcobranchi

Oh, noes! All of the pastors are heading directly to jail because the Dems have finally passed the hate crimes bill. ONN is not happy.

WORST. UMPIRING. EVER.

Filed on October 21, 2009 at 4:52 am under by dcobranchi

The umpires at last night’s Yankees-Angels game should not be allowed near an MLB park ever again. Blown calls left and right, including a rules interpretation by the crew chief that was so obviously wrong that I was amazed the Angels didn’t play the game under protest.

The umpires are making a joke of the playoffs. MLB had better do something about how crews are chosen for the postseason. The current “system” is broken.

POSSIBLY A FIRST

Filed on October 17, 2009 at 6:10 pm under by dcobranchi

Has there been another Canadian HEK who has won the Nobel in Physics?

GIVE ME AN “H”! GIVE ME AN “E”! GIVE ME AN “R”!

Filed on October 16, 2009 at 8:40 pm under by dcobranchi

Since we’re talking about religion, here’s the LOTD. It’s a typical Life in Fayetteville one:

Good deeds bring us closer to God

People never cease to amaze me. I wrote and published a book, “Are You Going To Heaven?” I show people. I’m told, “I don’t need that, I go to church when I can or every Sunday.” That’s great, but that alone won’t get you to heaven.

You have faith; what about deeds? “What do you mean?” I explain, read your Bible every day; start with James 2:14-24. The more time you spend with the Bible, praying, doing for others you don’t even know in nursing homes or hospitals, visiting the sick to cheer them up, that’s what God wants us to do.

Many people swear, misuse the Lord’s name; it’s a no-no. Don’t swear in front of children, who pick it up not knowing it’s wrong.

God wants people of integrity, open and honest. Pray, “Father, I trust you to work in and through me. Make me strong so I may accomplish all that you ask of me. Amen.” Don’t love the world or anything in it, for boasting of what one has or does is not from the Father. Men who do the will of God live forever. Don’t be afraid, the Lord your God goes with you, will not forsake you.

Read Proverbs 6:16-19 and Proverbs 4:1-25 to get wisdom and understanding.

All that I have accomplished was by God’s power and grace. All the glory must go to God!

Esther Holcombe
Fayetteville

I think I’m going to write a LttE singing the praises of the FSM.

PLAYING THE VICTIM CARD

Filed on October 15, 2009 at 5:40 pm under by dcobranchi

Poor Rush Limbaugh. It’s all Obama’s fault, of course.

ANSWER: BARBECUED CHICKEN WITH ALL THE FIXIN’S

Filed on October 14, 2009 at 6:23 am under by dcobranchi

Question: What goes just right with a book and Bible burning?

CANTON, N.C. (October 13, 2009)—The Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, N.C. will celebrate Halloween by burning Bibles that aren’t the King James Version, as well as music and books and anything else Pastor Marc Grizzard says is a satanic influence.

Among the authors whose books Grizzard plans to burn are well known ministers Rick Warren and Billy Graham because he says they have occasionally used Bibles other than the King James Version, which is the sole biblical source he considers infallible.

According to the church’s Web site, members will also burn “Satan’s music such as country, rap, rock, pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel, contemporary Christian, jazz, soul (and) oldies.

“We will also be burning Satan’s popular books written by heretics like Billy Graham, Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, John McArthur, James Dobson, Charles Swindoll, John Piper, Chuck Colson, Tony Evans, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swagart, Mark Driskol, Franklin Graham, Bill Bright, Tim Lahaye, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Benny Hinn, Joyce Myers, Brian McLaren, Robert Schuller, Mother Teresa, The Pope, Rob Bell, Erwin McManus, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning (and) William Young.

During the book burning, according to the Web site, barbecued chicken fried chicken and “all the sides” will be served.

Canton is 5 hours from here. That’s way too close, IMO.

OH! MY! GOD!

Filed on October 12, 2009 at 7:22 pm under by dcobranchi

I miss the good ol’ days when Zero Intelligence would blast edu-crats for their complete idiocy in enforcing zero tolerance policies. This story, in my old home town, would have probably made his Top Ten of All Time.

Finding character witnesses when you are 6 years old is not easy. But there was Zachary Christie last week at a school disciplinary committee hearing with his karate instructor and his mother’s fiancé by his side to vouch for him.

Zachary’s offense? Taking a camping utensil that can serve as a knife, fork and spoon to school. He was so excited about recently joining the Cub Scouts that he wanted to use it at lunch. School officials concluded that he had violated their zero-tolerance policy on weapons, and Zachary was suspended and now faces 45 days in the district’s reform school.

I had one of those utensils in Cub Scouts, too. The knife has a blunt end. You couldn’t cut butter with it, let alone a person.

UPDATE: There’s even a bit of a homeschooling angle to this.

“Something has to change,” said Dodi Herbert, whose 13-year old son, Kyle, was suspended in May and ordered to attend the Christina district’s reform school for 45 days after another student dropped a pocket knife in his lap. School officials declined to comment on the case for reasons of privacy.

Ms. Herbert, who said her son was a straight-A student, has since been home-schooling him instead of sending him to the reform school.

Heh, Traci– Maybe DHEA can give her a call to see if she needs some help.

TOO FAT

Filed on at 6:01 pm under by dcobranchi

Here’s the kid:

PRE-EXISTING CONDITION?

Filed on October 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm under by dcobranchi

Another nail in the coffin for the existing “health care” system. After Obama signs the HCR reform bill into law, I think we ought to send a big “thank you” to the insurance companies for making it possible.

EDUCATION NEXT

Filed on October 8, 2009 at 6:14 pm under by dcobranchi

QOTD:

We need to rethink the whole four year college experience – this isn’t working, and it may be setting us further back as a society.

More here.

DEAR RUSH LIMBAUGH,

Filed on at 6:44 am under by dcobranchi

You must eat at least once every 6 months. This is an absolute requirement for healthy living. Your government strongly urges you to eat at least once every six months.

Signed,

Kathleen Sebelius

Limbaugh: “You’ll be healthier” if you don’t listen to the government. Limbaugh stated on his nationally syndicated radio program, “I’m not seeing these mass deaths from the swine flu. … All I see is a bunch of typical government panic and hype.” He added, “Who put the notion that you gotta have this shot, or this nasal spray — whatever the hell the vaccine is — whoever the hell put in your head the notion that you gotta do it? Government did. The Obama government, to be specific. It is one of my fervent objectives and goals … to convince as many people as possible that the damn government is not God, and nobody in it even comes close to being as competent as you are to run your life. And yet, ‘Oh my God, the government report says …’ The next time you hear ‘The government says…’ don’t believe it. You’ll be healthier, trust me.” [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 10/7/09]

Limbaugh: “Screw you, Ms. Sebelius! I am not going to take it, precisely because you’re now telling me I must.” Limbaugh stated in response to Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’ call for widespread use of the vaccination, “Screw you, Ms. Sebelius! I am not going to take it, precisely because you’re now telling me I must. It’s not your role, it’s not your responsibility, and you do not have that power. I don’t want to take your vaccine. I don’t get flu shots.” Limbaugh later added, “I’m just like — I’m a contrarian, I’m a non-conformist — you have some idiot government official demanding, telling me I must take this vaccine. I’ll never take it.” [The Rush Limbaugh Show, 10/7/09]

Limbaugh and Beck seem to be in a race to see who can kill more people by promoting anti-vax hysteria. Morons!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Filed on October 6, 2009 at 4:07 am under by dcobranchi

These are two real projects from the Religious (Extreme) Right:

Adopt a LiberalTM (Seriously. They really did register the mark.) [via Amygdala]

The Conservative Bible Project [via the General]

I think our side may be winning.

WORST. PRODUCTS. EVER

Filed on October 5, 2009 at 9:56 pm under by dcobranchi

Obama Chia Pets. In Happy or Determined pose. Ugh!

<—- PLEASE TAKE NOTE

Filed on at 5:54 pm under by dcobranchi

of the text ads in the left side bar. They help to spread HERP&ES. :-)

COMPLETELY COOL TRIVIA

Filed on at 5:48 pm under by dcobranchi

Why do identical twins have different fingerprints?

LOTD

Filed on at 2:26 am under by dcobranchi

Snark or lunacy? You make the call:

Big Green Machine can handle Iran

I watched the United Nations General Assembly because I am still trying to wrap my brain around the purpose of the U.N.

I did not learn anything new about the U.N. They are still a bunch of international politicians, most of whom are jealous of the United States.

I did learn that there is a country called Iran with a leader named Ahmadinejad who sees the U.S. with disdain and he wants to wipe Israel off of the map. He denies the Holocaust and is aggressively pursuing nukes.

Apparently, Iran’s neighbors share a similar ideology.

If I were the leader of this country and to keep this sociopath in check, I would park the U.S. military, a.k.a.. the Big Green Machine, on both sides of this rogue nation and draw fire.

I am not sure what countries flank Iran and I may be wrong about this shared ideology. As an American, I should probably look at a map and read a history book.

Patrick McNamara
Pinehurst

FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE DAY

Filed on October 4, 2009 at 5:21 pm under by dcobranchi

A really nice coming out celebration for a kid. Scroll down to the main body of the diary before reading the updates. It’ll make more sense.

MISLEADING HED OF THE DAY

Filed on October 3, 2009 at 10:29 am under by dcobranchi

From USA Today:

Social Security collectors up 19%

Any normal reading of that would have a HUGE jump in the number of folks collecting SS. Not so, as the lede explains:

The number of retired workers who began collecting Social Security benefits jumped by a record 19% in the 2009 fiscal year that ended Wednesday as aging Baby Boomers and the unemployed chose to retire early.

More than 2.6 million retired workers entered the Social Security system, up from 2.2 million in fiscal 2008.

STRANGE (ALMOST) COINCIDENCE

Filed on at 7:37 am under by dcobranchi

I drove back from WV yesterday. 8 hours in the car, alone with only the radio. Scanning through the AM band I came across some radio preacher (this is WV, remember) going on about Hell and all of the scientific evidence for it and how atheists are really going to have a bad day eternity. Somewhere along the way he mentioned that the famous atheist Tom Paine allegedly had some kind of death-bed conversion. I’m not sure how someone facing their death and succumbing to the mythologies of the day is supposed to be any kind of evidence for Hell, but I’m not a radio preacher. Their ways are too deep for mere mortals (and scientists), I suppose. And now for the (almost) coincidence. For completely unrelated reasons P.Z. Myers posted less than 24 hours later that Paine was not an atheist at all.

Hmmm. It’s almost like someone is trying to tell me not to believe the radio preachers. :-)

NOT A HOMESCHOOLING STORY

Filed on October 2, 2009 at 6:45 pm under by dcobranchi

I’m not sure why the fact that their daughters are HEKs is relevant:

AKRON — ”This is one of the worst cases we’ve ever come across,” said Akron Police Lieutenant Rick Edwards. A couple living on Akron’s near east side have been arrested with child pornography.

Detectives believe the couple has been making kiddie porn for years.

Truck driver Michael Lee Winland, 37, and Stephennie Murphy, 31, are both behind bars. They are the parents of two girls, ages 8 and 10, who were both home-schooled.