Utterly Meaningless » 2014 » April

ICE CREAM BLECCH

Filed on April 29, 2014 at 8:55 pm under by dcobranchi

After I wrote that post extolling the virtues of the mascarpone ice cream we got a call from Kroger’s informing us it had been recalled. Something about eggs.

Of course, I’d already eaten the whole thing.

ICE CREAM BLOG

Filed on April 26, 2014 at 4:18 pm under by dcobranchi

Kroger’s Private Collection Chocolate Hazelnut Mascarpone may be the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted. Super smooth. Not too sweet. And loaded with crunchy hazelnuts.

I think I’m in love.

TIME TO HIKE TUITION

Filed on April 25, 2014 at 1:17 pm under by dcobranchi

Total college enrollment is starting to trend down after decades of consistent growth. With fewer students, colleges will have no choice but to hike tuitions since their revenues will go down otherwise. It’s a great scam. When demand is up, tuition goes up. When demand is down, tuition goes up.

You think I’m kidding?

Tying in the need students currently face to fund their education, the Board of Trustees approved a tuition increase for next school year, citing issues related to a drop in enrollment that colleges across the state are facing.

“It’s something we don’t like to do, but it keeps the college financially healthy,” said WSCC President Bradley Ebersole.

WSCC Treasurer Jess Raines explained that the college’s revenue is down by eight percent from the previous year, citing enrollment as one of the primary factors.

SAME AS THE OLD BOSS

Filed on at 8:54 am under by dcobranchi

My division of DuPont is being sold to Kuraray, the #4 worldwide manufacturer of PVB films (DuPont is #3). We got our official job offers yesterday. Hopefully, The Who were right.

1ST AMENDMENT THROWDOWN

Filed on April 19, 2014 at 8:56 am under by dcobranchi

The local high school here finds itself in a bit of a jam:

Parkersburg South’s wrestling season is over.

But now the wrestling team is pinned over its tee shirts.

South’s wrestling team has tee shirts that have a Bible verse on the back.

It says “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” – Philippians 4:13.

The wrestlers wore those shirts during their most recent season.

“Him” is usually translated “Christ.” If the kids were wearing the shirts as part of their uniforms, this would clearly be a violation of the Establishment Clause. And even if they’re just wearing them around school, it’s questionable since the front reads “Parkersburg South Wrestling.” The Superintendent made the right call to ban the shirts, but now a family has retained a lawyer because, they claim, their 1st Amendment free speech rights are being infringed.

Sorry, I’m not buying it. The wrestling team has been wearing shirts with that same verse for 15+ years. That seems, to me, to make it something of an unoffical team motto. And, therefore, forbidden.

A MINIMUM WAGE PROPOSAL

Filed on April 18, 2014 at 12:53 pm under by dcobranchi

Let’s set Congressional salaries at 10x the federal minimum wage, annualized to 2080 hours. Right now, that’d require a pay cut from $174k to $150k/yr. If they raise the minimum wage to $10.10/hr, they’d get a hike to $210k/yr. I’d gladly make that trade.

CRASS COMMERCIALISM

Filed on April 12, 2014 at 4:10 pm under by dcobranchi

Eastern Analytical Symposium

THOSE INSCRUTABLE SPAMMERS

Filed on at 12:20 pm under by dcobranchi

I’m not sure if this is a Google Translation error, or the Chinese spammer who sent it is just nuts:

When you see of pork chop, it means that roller coaster about grand piano trembles.

A FREEZER FULL OF WMDs

Filed on April 8, 2014 at 5:54 pm under by dcobranchi

A few habaneros were enough to cause the evacuation of a school and the deployment of a HazMat team. Freakin’ wimpy habaneros. I have a huge bag of Trinidad Moruga Scorpions and Bhut Jolokias in my freezer. Those would devastate an entire county, I guess.

Police cars and fire trucks surrounded Jefferson County Open School in Colorado Monday, as hazmat crews decontaminated students outside — spraying them down, fully clothed, in cordoned-off sections under a blue tent…

Six habanero chili peppers caused this hot mess.

Don’t tell Homeland Security, okay?