WHY WE HOMESCHOOL
[Editorial comment– This post was originally intended for Week 2 of of Carnival of Homeschooling. For reasons beyond my control, it was not included. I’ve submitted it for Week 3 even though it might not exactly match the theme. Caveat reader.]
That’s the topic for this week’s Carnival. I haven’t ever listed our reasons, so here’s my chance. Y’all might guess, given the topics that we usually cover here at HE&OS, that we’d be entirely secular, but you’d be wrong.
We pulled our kids out of the local public schools so that we could teach them our religion. We found that our religious values just would not be, just could not be taught in the public schools. Our kids were being taught all sorts of things that directly conflict with our beliefs. Things like Intelligent Design/Creationism. Yeah, Adam and Eve and all that. In our home, we know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything starting with a mountain, some trees and a midgit [sic]. Yes, we’re Pastafarians.
We follow an orthodox Pastafarian curriculum for our homeschool. Thus, Fridays are holidays and we “homeschool” Sunday through Thursday. And we have spaghetti and meatballs (His Holy Communion) for lunch at least once a week. Now, of course, the government schools serve the holy meal, but never in full pirate regalia.
All of our curriculum is FSM-based. Science, of course, is taught from the perspective that everything we see, all the so-called scientific evidence for evolution/Darwinism is a fabrication by the FSM, put there for His amusement. Thus, scientific naturalism is utterly rejected (something we have in common with the IDists/Creationists). We don’t do “experiments” in science class, as our prophet has explained that the FSM will reach out his noodly appendage to change the results. So, experiments in science class seemed kind of silly. For art, we study the old masters. Spelling is not stressed in our homeschool; the Prophet has acknowledged that he is a terrible speller. We figure if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for our kids.
We have found that homeschooling is the best way to ensure that our kids are raised in our faith and with our values. Ramen!
[Note to all 1st time visitors: The above is a joke. Relax. And have a plate of spaghetti on me.]
9 Responses to “WHY WE HOMESCHOOL”
 Comment by COD January 7th, 2006 at 8:35 pm |
You’ve convinced me. I am a true believer. |
 Comment by Spunky January 7th, 2006 at 9:55 pm |
Yes, but one question you leave unanswered. What does the great prophet of the Pastafarian say is the best way to cook fettucine Al Dente? Please, I will not be at peace in my soul until I know the answer to this eternal question. Or am I confined to pastagatory until I see the light and all secrets will then be revealed? Tell me oh enlightened one. |
 Comment by Daryl Cobranchi January 7th, 2006 at 10:06 pm |
I don’t know the “proper” (i.e., reverent) way to ensure correct Al-dentism. These folks may be able to help. Ramen! |
 Comment by Tammy January 7th, 2006 at 10:32 pm |
*golf clap* Very well played. |
 Comment by Lillian Haas January 8th, 2006 at 8:36 am |
Alex has apparently ordained himself as a Pastafarian priest. So if you need to have something consecrated, he’s your man. |
 Comment by Debra January 8th, 2006 at 10:37 am |
Perhaps you could hold court in the restaurant our daughter wanted to open: |
 Comment by Scott W. Somerville January 9th, 2006 at 12:35 pm |
Daryl, I’ll be making a pilgrimage to the Holy Land (Italy) in April. Can I pick up a pasta to go? |
|
Comment by Daryl Cobranchi January 9th, 2006 at 12:39 pm |
Scott, You are truly blessed. Eat well (I have both times I’ve been there) and throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain for all homeschoolers back here. |
 Pingback from Homeschooling for His Noodliness | O'DonnellWeb :: General Geekery from Fredericksburg VA August 1st, 2010 at 8:19 pm |
[…] Daryl comes out of the closet. Site Content […] |