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WHY WE HOMESCHOOL

Filed at 8:09 pm under by dcobranchi

[Editorial comment– This post was originally intended for Week 2 of of Carnival of Homeschooling. For reasons beyond my control, it was not included. I’ve submitted it for Week 3 even though it might not exactly match the theme. Caveat reader.]

That’s the topic for this week’s Carnival. I haven’t ever listed our reasons, so here’s my chance. Y’all might guess, given the topics that we usually cover here at HE&OS, that we’d be entirely secular, but you’d be wrong.

We pulled our kids out of the local public schools so that we could teach them our religion. We found that our religious values just would not be, just could not be taught in the public schools. Our kids were being taught all sorts of things that directly conflict with our beliefs. Things like Intelligent Design/Creationism. Yeah, Adam and Eve and all that. In our home, we know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything starting with a mountain, some trees and a midgit [sic]. Yes, we’re Pastafarians.

We follow an orthodox Pastafarian curriculum for our homeschool. Thus, Fridays are holidays and we “homeschool” Sunday through Thursday. And we have spaghetti and meatballs (His Holy Communion) for lunch at least once a week. Now, of course, the government schools serve the holy meal, but never in full pirate regalia.

All of our curriculum is FSM-based. Science, of course, is taught from the perspective that everything we see, all the so-called scientific evidence for evolution/Darwinism is a fabrication by the FSM, put there for His amusement. Thus, scientific naturalism is utterly rejected (something we have in common with the IDists/Creationists). We don’t do “experiments” in science class, as our prophet has explained that the FSM will reach out his noodly appendage to change the results. So, experiments in science class seemed kind of silly. For art, we study the old masters. Spelling is not stressed in our homeschool; the Prophet has acknowledged that he is a terrible speller. We figure if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for our kids.

We have found that homeschooling is the best way to ensure that our kids are raised in our faith and with our values. Ramen!

[Note to all 1st time visitors: The above is a joke. Relax. And have a plate of spaghetti on me.]

9 Responses to “WHY WE HOMESCHOOL”


Comment by
COD
January 7th, 2006
at 8:35 pm

You’ve convinced me. I am a true believer.


Comment by
Spunky
January 7th, 2006
at 9:55 pm

Yes, but one question you leave unanswered. What does the great prophet of the Pastafarian say is the best way to cook fettucine Al Dente? Please, I will not be at peace in my soul until I know the answer to this eternal question. Or am I confined to pastagatory until I see the light and all secrets will then be revealed? Tell me oh enlightened one.


Comment by
Daryl Cobranchi
January 7th, 2006
at 10:06 pm

I don’t know the “proper” (i.e., reverent) way to ensure correct Al-dentism. These folks may be able to help. Ramen!


Comment by
Tammy
January 7th, 2006
at 10:32 pm

*golf clap*

Very well played.


Comment by
Lillian Haas
January 8th, 2006
at 8:36 am

Alex has apparently ordained himself as a Pastafarian priest. So if you need to have something consecrated, he’s your man.


Comment by
Debra
January 8th, 2006
at 10:37 am

Perhaps you could hold court in the restaurant our daughter wanted to open:
The Spaghetti Wall, where all patrons test to see if their pasta is done by thyrowing a piece on the wall.


Comment by
Scott W. Somerville
January 9th, 2006
at 12:35 pm

Daryl, I’ll be making a pilgrimage to the Holy Land (Italy) in April. Can I pick up a pasta to go?


Comment by
Daryl Cobranchi
January 9th, 2006
at 12:39 pm

Scott,

You are truly blessed. Eat well (I have both times I’ve been there) and throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain for all homeschoolers back here.


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at 8:19 pm

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