Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » CAFFEINE, COCAINE– WHAT’S THE DIFF?

    Filed at 3:48 pm under by dcobranchi

    I’m going to quote this article in its full glory. Y’all can just shake your heads in wonder at the utter stupidity of the folks who made this decision:

    LOWER BURRELL, Pa. — A Lower Burrell school student is facing a three-day suspension for sharing gum with a classmate.

    Jolt chewing gum has caffeine and ginseng.

    The Lower Burrell school superintendent said consuming and passing out the gum violates the school’s drug awareness policy. That’s because caffeine is considered a stimulant.

    Parents told Channel 11 they did not understand the suspension.

    Resident Elizabeth Grombacher said, “I think it’s stupid. Everything’s getting too politically correct it’s so wrong.”

    “It’s probably just like Mountain Dew or something like that. If it’s got a lot of caffeine in it and they probably sell the pop at school,” parent Nita Serene said.

    Jolt chewing gum is sold over the counter at drug stores and vitamin distributors.

    I wonder if there’s coffee or Coke in the teacher’s lounge. Surely, they must be subject to the “drug awareness program,” too. (Tip credit: Ulrike)

    4 Responses to “CAFFEINE, COCAINE– WHAT’S THE DIFF?”

    Comment by
    May 26th, 2006
    at 4:42 pm

    The girl that shared a midol got a month, so the kid shuld probably feel lucky. I keep thinking this madness has to bottom out and turn the other way.

    It has to, doesn’t it?

    Comment by
    May 26th, 2006
    at 5:55 pm

    So does this mean if a kid at this school sells another kid cocaine (or heroine, or pot, or whatever) he’ll only get 3-days suspension???


    Comment by
    May 26th, 2006
    at 6:18 pm

    Actually, I’m pretty sure chocolate has caffeine as well. Even if the school doesn’t have soda machines, I’m sure the occasional brownie ends up on lunch trays.

    Of all the wrongdoings of public schools, passing out drugs to kids has to be the most unforgiveable.

    Comment by
    May 26th, 2006
    at 6:21 pm

    OK…so I’m bored…

    Researching further I found that JOLT’s website says 2 pieces = 1 cup of coffee, 45mg per piece. 12 oz of Pepsi has 38 mg, Mt. Dew has 55 mg, Iced Tea has 47 mg. So if a student shares a Mt. Dew or an iced tea with a buddy will he get suspended?