Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » GOD’S WATER

    • GOD’S WATER

    Filed at 8:06 am under by dcobranchi

    Magical thinking in the US is now epidemic:

    SAN ANTONIO, Texas (AP) — Is it an artesian spring, a broken water pipe or an abandoned well?

    Lucille Pope’s red oak tree has gurgled water for about three months, and experts can’t seem to get to the root of the problem.

    …Mark Peterson, a regional community forester from the Texas Forest Service said he believes it could be a spring, but pointed out that would be rare with the drought conditions this summer.

    “If it is a burst pipe their monthly bill would be enormous,” Peterson said.

    Lucille Pope has started to wonder if the water has special properties.

    Her insurance agent dabbed drops of the water on a spider bite and the welt went away, she said.

    “I just want to know if it is a healing tree or blessed water,” she said. “That’s God’s water. Nobody knows but God.”

    Does anyone know if Canada is accepting immigration requests? Or maybe Hell. The demons seem pretty level-headed.

    4 comments »

    4 Responses to “GOD’S WATER”


    Comment by
    Daryl Cobranchi
    August 12th, 2006
    at 12:20 pm

    Well, Cav, if the fundies are right and I end up down below, would you put in a good word for me? I’ll take a spot in the mailroom.

    Comment by
    Daryl Cobranchi
    August 12th, 2006
    at 12:54 pm

    Cool! Something to look forward to, then. 🙂

    Comment by
    speedwell
    August 12th, 2006
    at 5:01 pm

    If you’re going job-hunting in Hell, I’ll ride-share with you. Texas is on your way, anyway. 🙂

    Comment by
    Daryl Cobranchi
    August 12th, 2006
    at 8:51 pm

    The more I think about this tale, the more idiotic it becomes. They haven’t been able to decide if it’s a broken water pipe? They have CITY WATER. That means both fluorine and chlorine. Fluorine is difficult (if not impossible) for a homeowner to test for. Chlorine? Piece of cake. Any WalMart will carry the test kits for swimming pools. They’re good down to ~0.5 ppm chlorine which is about the same range as normal city water.

    Of course, we all know that the FSM can reach out his noodly appendage to change the results of scientific tests.

    We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

    So, maybe it’s the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s water?