LOTD
Proof positive that the Fayetteville Observer is so desperate for LttE that they will print anything:
Could homeless expertise find dangerous bridges?
Who can tell us which bridges need to be repaired or replaced in North Carolina? Who can tell us which bridges need to be inspected first? Who knows the most about the conditions of our bridges? The answer to these questions is obvious — the homeless.
Many homeless people reside under our bridges. At night they are looking up not at the stars but at the underside of the bridge.
It is a known fact that homeless people will not sleep under a bridge that is about to collapse. That fact is easily substantiated … you never heard of a bridge collapsing and killing or injuring a homeless person that lived under it.
If homeless people are not sleeping regularly under any bridge, that bridge needs to be inspected immediately by the bridge inspection team that was created by DOT Secretary Lyndo Tippett.
This is just one example of how governmental problems can be solved by using citizen expertise.
Benner Jones III
Fayetteville
If I subscribed I’d have to cancel. What an embarrassment!
16 Responses to “LOTD”
 Comment by Unique August 21st, 2007 at 6:38 am |
Good Lord! Do they think the homeless have X-ray eyes as well (?) That’s a WTF moment for the record books. Poor you. (see why I call it Fayuck****?) |
 Comment by COD August 21st, 2007 at 8:29 am |
That might be the single greatest LTTE ever published. |
 Comment by Daryl Cobranchi August 21st, 2007 at 8:41 am |
We ought to make a game of it. Jointly compose the most batshit insane LttE possible– conspiracy theories, UFOs, trilateral commission, whatever… Tie it all in to Hillary Clinton or GWB and see if they publish it. |
 Comment by christine August 21st, 2007 at 10:46 am |
“It is a known fact that homeless people will not sleep under a bridge that is about to collapse.” This has GOT to be a joke. |
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Comment by Daryl Cobranchi August 21st, 2007 at 11:07 am |
I think we need to pass a law that will mandate that every bridge in the country has at least one homeless person sleeping under it every night (kind of like what Miami did with their sex offenders). That way no bridge will EVER collapse again. Of course, they could still collapse during the day. Hmmm, maybe we need 3 shifts of homeless people so that all bridges are being slept under 24/7. |
 Comment by Sandra August 21st, 2007 at 11:07 am |
Could this possibly be satire? |
 Comment by Lisa Giebitz August 21st, 2007 at 11:09 am |
I’m down for the letter game! Heehee! |
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Comment by COD August 21st, 2007 at 11:38 am |
Google tells us that the author is an attorney. Not sure what that does for the odds on this being satire, but the odds that Daryl will receive a take down notice are probably damn close to 100%! |
 Comment by Andrea August 21st, 2007 at 12:44 pm |
I think it’s hilarious but only because I’m almost certain it’s a joke. |
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Comment by don August 21st, 2007 at 1:21 pm |
My money’s on this being satirical. I think Mr. Jones is already playing your game of making up batshit crazy letters to see what they’ll actually publish. |
 Comment by JP August 21st, 2007 at 1:27 pm |
Re crazy – Tying it into Hillary or GWB really depends on the geographical area. In my little neck of the woods, you’d want to tie it in to Hillary, but about 50 minutes south of me (same state), you’d be better off attributing it to GWB. |
 Comment by Not June Cleaver August 21st, 2007 at 1:58 pm |
Sounds like someone who is pissed off about the homeless people under the bridges. Has to be a joke. Right? 😉 |
 Comment by Rob August 21st, 2007 at 3:27 pm |
“It is a known fact that homeless people will not sleep under a bridge that is about to collapse.” Obvious solution: Chain a homeless person to a stake under all of America’s bridges. Problem solved! |
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Comment by Unique August 21st, 2007 at 6:29 pm |
gawd, Rob! Don’t give ’em ideas! They’re crazy enough to do it! |
 Comment by Karen E August 21st, 2007 at 11:45 pm |
Homeless people must be like squirrels who won’t nest in a dead tree. |
 Comment by Traci August 22nd, 2007 at 12:50 pm |
A few years back we did have a citizen report a serious crack underneath the Brandywine Bridge on I95 in Wilmington. He wasn’t homeless. He was a retired engineer out for a stroll. I think he was watching for birds w/ binoculors in the park. Thank Goodness he reported it & the report was taken seriously. Using the homeless to monitor bridges is quite a stretch though. |