Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » SOMEONE TO AVOID DURING A THUNDERSTORM

    Filed at 5:53 pm under by dcobranchi

    A Nebraska state senator has sued God:

    In the lawsuit Chambers says he’s tried to contact God numerous times, “Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant (“Come out, come out, wherever you are”) has been unable to do so.”

    The suit also requests that the court given the “peculiar circumstances” of this case waive personal service. It says being Omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.

    The lawsuit accuses God “of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent.”

    It says God has caused, “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”

    The suit also says God has caused, “calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.”

    Since “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him.” [Psalm 24:1] I’m not sure this isn’t more like a case of animal cruelty. Torturing animals may be insane and evil, but I don’t believe the animals have ever successfully sued.


    Comment by
    September 17th, 2007
    at 8:58 pm


    But seriously… you can’t sue what isn’t there.

    Comment by
    September 18th, 2007
    at 9:43 am

    Arguments over the existence of God (whether the Christian version or the FSM type) aside, this seems like more frivolous than usual abuse of the court system. I hope the judge slaps him with a fine.

    Comment by
    September 18th, 2007
    at 4:03 pm

    I would love to see the part of the complaint that establishes the Douglas County court’s jurisdiction. it would be great for the local tourism industry if the plaintiff could establish that God’s residence, Heaven, is in Douglas County!

    It would also be amusing to see some lawyer walk into court claiming to represent the defendant. Would God be treated as a “natural person,” a “corporation” or as a “govermental entity?” Would soverign immunity prevail as a defense? How would the events complained of be established as the responsibility of the defendant? How would plaintiff execute the judgment if he prevails?

    This would make a wonderful mock trial in a law school, or even in a debating society. Much more intriguing than Scopes.