Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » OH! MY! GOLD!
  • OH! MY! GOLD!

    Filed at 6:11 pm under by dcobranchi

    This is absolutely hilarious, even if it does make libertarians/Paulites look like utter morans. My personal fav:

    Says Bob in Clemons, North Carolina: “We need to abolish the Federal Reserve and go back to the gold standard. Not just any gold though, I heard about this stuff, pure-strain gold that has been around since God created the universe. That’s what we should base our currency around since it is so close to God.”

    A quick Google of “pure strain gold” yields this explanation fro the Urban Dictionary.:

    All matter is energyand the big bang was pure energy; during the big bang an amount of that infinite pure energy was turned into every element in the ratio of it’s atomic weight – for every pound of hydrogen created twice as much helium was created and so on. Most of all this reacted and became other elements; but because gold is unreactive you can trace this down to gold that exists now and will always exist. Most of the gold in the universe is from other generations and was created in an exploding star; there’s gold that exists that came fromt he first generation of stars and you can trace the degree of all these back to the big bang. This isn’t contraversial; once you accept the big bang happened this is one thing that follows from it the same way as the expansion of the universe follows from it.

    Nope. Not “contraversial” at all.

    3 Responses to “OH! MY! GOLD!”

    Comment by
    July 21st, 2008
    at 9:19 pm

    And my MIL, a follower of the *I AM* religious cult, tried to convince her daughter to insert some of this “pure strain gold” next to her breast tumor to cure her cancer. Thankfully she did not listen!

    Comment by
    Lisa Giebitz
    July 22nd, 2008
    at 1:45 pm

    You know, my dad used to say that it rained because angels needed to take a piss. Should we go on the rainwater standard? Seems just as logical to me.

    Those idiots need to read “Making Money” by Terry Pratchett for a nice, easy explanation of why we’re no longer on the gold standard. But then again it’s satire, so being literalists, they probably wouldn’t get it.

    (Heh, I like how that google search turns up any number of ‘hardcore recreational smoking’ sites, if you catch my drift.)

    Comment by
    July 24th, 2008
    at 1:14 am

    So all the neon, argon and xenon present in the atmosphere now have been hanging around unreactively since the Big Bang too? That’s pretty awesome, dude. I’m going to start lighting my house with “pure strain” neon lights. It’ll cure my tumors and bring me closer to God. Think the neighbors will mind?