Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » LET’S HEAR IT FOR PRE-SCHOOL!

    Filed at 6:35 pm under by dcobranchi

    Now where do you think these young “Queen Bees” learn this behavior?

    The preschool Queen Bees were well-liked and socially skilled but also tended to be more arrogant and aggressive in managing relationships.

    They would exclude specific classmates from play groups, demand others not play with a specific child, threaten to not play if their needs or demands weren’t met and refuse to listen to someone they were mad at. The little Queen Bees were also masters at spreading gossip and telling secrets.

    …”By the age of 4 a substantial number of children have apparently figured out from their environment that relational aggressive strategies can be used to their advantage and are rewarded with social status,” co-author Robinson said in a press release.

    So how does a little Queen Bee develop? Researchers are not sure. It could be genetic, something they pick up from other kids or behavior they learn from observing their parents or media.

    Give me a break! The article states that approximately 1 in 5 girls exhibits this behavior by the age of 4. I’ll lay very long odds that there’s an extremely high percentage of kids who’ve been in jail daycare from almost day one in that aggressive group.

    Anyone want to take the bet? (Tip credit: Traci)

    5 Responses to “LET’S HEAR IT FOR PRE-SCHOOL!”

    Comment by
    May 8th, 2005
    at 12:06 am

    I hate to say it, but my little girl has been in trouble in Church nursery for exhibiting all of this behavior. She’s never been in daycare ONE time. Her older two siblings are much older than she is and she didn’t learn it from them anyway. She certainly didn’t learn it from me. She was born more social savy than I thought possible from two very introvert parents. Other kids let her get away with this behavior and she learns fast. She is definately the ringleader, although two other homeschool younger siblings are her favorite partners. I could not believe it, but the article is what I’ve been dealing with for the last year.

    Comment by
    May 8th, 2005
    at 12:57 am

    This kind of kills the socialization argument.

    Comment by
    Tim Haas
    May 8th, 2005
    at 1:20 pm

    I bet birth order correlates to this kind of behavior as well.

    Comment by
    Cardinal Fang
    May 9th, 2005
    at 1:58 am

    I’ll take the bet. I remember my son’s playgroup when he was that age. I don’t think any of the kids went to daycare (except for the playgroup itself, which was only a few hours a week, and parents were there), yet that kind of Queen Bee behavior was common.

    Comment by
    May 9th, 2005
    at 7:25 am

    I gotta say that one of my sons, who has never been to school, exhibited these same behaviors at our early years homeschool co-op. And at home. He is, as they say, a “spirited” child. But never were my husband and I more grateful that I was home with our children. I was able to be right there on top of things when his behavior was unacceptable – most often BEFORE it escalated. I coached and coached — we frequently left (which was a high motivation for self control, because he loved being there) — and he had to follow special rules (like not having the run of the part of the church where we met when other pre-school age children were able to handle this). I was able to enlist the help of other parents, and we designed certain activities so they did not push his buttons (for instance, using cooperative games instead of throwing a single ball into the middle of the pile of kids playing outside. (Obviously, I volunteered to coordinate the games!)

    At 7, his unwelcome behavior has diminished and his self-control has sky-rocketed. DH and I joke that he would have been kicked out of any pre-school or kindergarten — he just could not handle the stimulation and was everybody’s redneck (“Whaddayamean by that?!). Today, he regularly says “I need to go run around outside” when he feels overly energetic and repeatedly and successively uses the coping strategies we worked with him on to re-direct aggressive and selfish behaviors. It’s been a long haul, but if ever a child needed one-on-one help from a parent, it’s this DS. So I can’t blame pre-school for his anti-social behavior as a young’un. I’ll chalk that up to nature. But I will credit positive parenting and homeschooling — nurture — for helping him learn to moderate. Actually, probably a huge dose of this, too, was *nature* –that is, developmentally, he grew and changed, became less frustratable, etc. BUT, having had two other children in traditional pre-school and K, I know that those settings would not have provided this DS with the guidance, structure,one-on-one coaching — and love — that he needed to not become the bully he could have.