Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » WHEN KNIVES ARE OUTLAWED

    Filed at 4:50 am under by dcobranchi

    only outlaws will cook dinner.

    Does the Second Amendment protect our right to cooking implements?

    The authors of an editorial in the latest issue of the British Medical Journal have called for knife reform. The editorial, “Reducing knife crime: We need to ban the sale of long, pointed kitchen knives,” notes that the knives are being used to stab people as well as roasts and the odd tin of Spam.

    And, of course, we’ll also need to ban long carving forks, scissors, and screwdrivers. As Bugs would say— What a maroon!

    4 Responses to “WHEN KNIVES ARE OUTLAWED”

    Comment by
    May 27th, 2005
    at 7:10 am

    icicles are sharp, and they leave no trace! 😮 We should call for reform!

    Comment by
    May 27th, 2005
    at 8:45 am

    Viva la paperless office! Wipe out the horrifying, inhuman paper-cut attacks!!

    Comment by
    May 27th, 2005
    at 6:15 pm

    I’m warning the local hibachi and mongolian wok grills immediately to ban together against this outrage! Or maybe I should just sit back until all cooking and eating implements are outlawed. Hey, let’s also ban eating with your hands – they may be used as weapons afterall. Trough feeding anyone?

    Comment by
    May 29th, 2005
    at 12:16 am

    Concierge –

    You forgot about the forced pulling of all teeth, since they too can be weapons.