Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » BE NICE

    Filed at 7:41 am under by dcobranchi

    Patrick SwayzeDeborah Markus gives home education advice:

    Even with other homeschoolers, we can feel set apart at times. Though we are still a comparatively tiny percentage of the population, we are a large enough group to encompass a great deal of diversity. Maybe you breastfeed your toddler. Or you breastfeed your toddler and your newborn–often at the same time. Perhaps you unschool in a social circle that considers that to be just short of child abuse. Or you have a family bed and your in-laws don’t think it’s short of child abuse at all. You’re a vegetarian and so are your kids. You’re a vegan and so are your kids. You’re a vegan and so are your kids except for your nine-month-old, who still nurses exclusively. You don’t watch much TV. You don’t watch any TV. You don’t own a TV. You own a TV, but it’s out in the yard with an axe handle sticking out of the screen and you send your kids back there when they say they want to watch. You didn’t vaccinate. You didn’t vaccinate completely. You are trying to make up your mind about vaccinating or not vaccinating and your friends on either side of the issue think you’re nuts to even worry about it. You have a midwife instead of an OB/GYN. You had a homebirth. You had a water-birth, and even your home-birthing buddies are aghast. You have one child, and that’s all. You have four children, and that’s not all. Your children bear not the slightest physical resemblance to you. You’re into attachment parenting and your friends keep giving you tips on “Ferberizing” your two-month-old.

    …Keep Smiling

    Definitely worth a read

    3 Responses to “BE NICE”

    Comment by
    August 8th, 2006
    at 10:41 am

    What is “Ferberizing?”

    Interesting article. And it didn’t even get into a discussion of which flavor of religion you are, which brings up a whole different can of worms.

    Comment by
    August 8th, 2006
    at 11:35 am

    Ferber has written sleep training books that many believe promote non-responsive parenting and insufficient milk supplies in moms who don’t breastfeed on “cue,” but who instead require distressed babies and children to go to sleep on their own.

    In contrast to parents who believe that meeting children’s needs helps them grow to be independent, Ferber advocates believe that you can teach, train or condition babies and children to be independent – that they will learn that they can get along without being comforted by their parents, for example.

    I believe Ferber has recently softened some of his most black&white statements.

    Some people swear by Ferberizing; some people swear at it.

    His “system” is sometimes called the “cry-it-out” method. Family bed advocates and attachment parenting advocates are critics of his advice. Some parents find Ferberizing to work easily and well and solve problems they have with their children’s sleep habits. Some parents find Ferberizing to create problems and greater distress — and of course, it all seems to vary child-to-child, family-to-family.

    Dr. William Sears, Dr. James McKenna, and Dr. Jay Gordon are among those I’ve heard speak on non-Ferberizing ways of meeting children’s night-time needs.

    Comment by
    Daryl Cobranchi
    August 8th, 2006
    at 4:56 pm

    I don’t get the Patrick Swayze thing.

    “Be nice” is a line from the REALLY AWFUL P.S. movie “Roadhouse.”