Utterly Meaningless » Blog Archive » C-O-F-F-E-E L-O-T-D
  • C-O-F-F-E-E L-O-T-D

    Filed at 9:27 am under by dcobranchi

    Via JJ Ross, a new reason to home educate— the schools have coffee and diet sodas available to the kids.

    In response to Mr. Rounsaville’s letter, I would like to ask him if his job is in any way connected to the amount of money the booster club brings in? Mr. Rounsaville, you sound very uneducated about the consequences of kids eating bad food — both immediate and long term. Do you eat that junk?

    You obviously do not know about the attractive, healthy and delicious choices available. (Low-sugar soda is not one of them. Aspartame causes cancer and tiny wormholes in the brain.)

    Actually, there is nothing more shocking than selling potent coffee, sugar and pure junk to children in a place of learning; and then diagnosing them as ADHD or hyperactive and giving them more drugs to calm down. I would suggest that you visit the local natural foods store and sample the variety they have for a start. Then do some homework and order it cheap.

    I was a very healthy kid until I entered the Kodiak school system at age 6. I became more unhealthy in the hands of educators and babysitters until I was 16. Luckily, when I hit high school, it was common knowledge that all you had to do was start smoking to lose pounds. The high school even had a designated smoking area — and this was the ’90s!

    KHS is in the dark ages! Healthy is cool. Spread the word. Being fit and looking great is cool!

    And you’re dead wrong: Exercise is not the most important factor. You are what you eat.

    I chose to homeschool my kids for the sole purpose of keeping them healthy. They need life-long healthy habits more than they need anything the school has to offer. I wouldn’t send them to school on this island until the schools come out of the Dark Age and start teaching the importance of how to take care of one’s body.

    P.S. Kids want you to offer healthy choices. They want to believe you care about them. Coffee and sugar are addictive and you are promoting their addiction. Do you realize withdrawal from coffee and sugar is like quitting smoking?

    Aspartame causes brain rot? Caffeine is as addictive as nicotine? I amso screwed.

    4 Responses to “C-O-F-F-E-E L-O-T-D”

    Comment by
    August 10th, 2006
    at 10:17 am

    Actually, COD, you also have to either be very tiny or purchase one of my patented shrink rays. The wormholes are in the brain, so you have to be able to fit. The other slightly more difficult option would be to take a trip inside your own brain. The obvious danger here is, like the snake eating its tail, once you get to the end you cease to exist within this dimension.

    Comment by
    JJ Ross
    August 10th, 2006
    at 4:32 pm

    Chocolate OTOH is in fact therapeutic in any setting.
    I’m actually a Doctor of Chocolate, after years of intensive graduate specialization, but UF refused to award me my earned the D.Ch. for fear it might be mistaken as a Doctor of Chiropractice/Chiropody. So I had to settle for Ed Admin which is fine anyway, since what I mostly adminster wherever I find myself is — well, you know.

    Comment by
    JJ Ross
    August 10th, 2006
    at 10:17 pm

    More yet, in the category of ” . . .reasons given for teaching children out of the formal classroom setting”:

    Schools do, of course, organise trips to museums and have special learning and themed days. But none can boast week-long pretend night-time air raids with gas masks, candles, blankets and ration books.”

    Comment by
    August 11th, 2006
    at 12:34 am

    Wow, I thought I was just getting older and forgetting things more often. Now I know it was the wormholes in my brain eating the information and I feel so much better!
    I wonder if I could sue the makers of aspertame for my affliction? 😉

    Tangent, but funny: I let my children order coffee if we go out to breakfast. It’s hilarious to see the looks on waitresses faces when they order. They always look to me for approval before writing the order down. :p