A MOTHER’S DAY SALUTE TO HOMESCHOOLING MOMS
< /sarcasm >
Let’s see how many insults a (female) columnist can throw at homeschooling moms.
You know how there are terrorist cells embedded throughout the world? Well, in my neighborhood we have numerous “homeschool” cells humming in the cul-de-sacs. They’re almost as scary as the terrorist ones in some ways — and they definitely have some traits in common with them.
…What’s scary is that a lot of the homeschooling faithful are as fueled by a fanatical, religion-based belief in their mission as Islamist terrorists, and seem to be just about as brainwashed. Sometimes I even wonder if they’re a manufactured race along the lines of the Stepford wives in Ira Levin’s book, but assembled in fundamentalist Christian churches instead of family basements. Like the Stepford robots, they’re programmed to fulfill their husbands’ fantasies, only in this case it’s their role as the Ultimate Selfless Mothers.
…They’re not only terrorist-like in their conviction that their calling is divinely ordained, homeschoolers also often have a broad martyr streak. Rather than suicide bombings, though, they commit “suicide book-learning,” sacrificing their own lives to teach their kids. I’ve known one or two to get pregnant as an excuse to get out of homeschooling hell, but the true martyrs keep right on instructing, with the newest little pupil glued to their breast.
…What’s really scary about homeschooling is what it can do to the sanity of a mother deluded into thinking it’s her Christian duty. No woman was ever meant to be trapped in a house all day with children old enough to spell “homicide.”
Hmmm. Terrorist-like; fanatical; brain-washed; Stepford wives programmed by their husbands; martyrs; deluded and insane.
Happy Mother’s Day.
7 Responses to “A MOTHER’S DAY SALUTE TO HOMESCHOOLING MOMS”
 Comment by Chris O'Donnell May 8th, 2004 at 8:04 am |
Creative Loafing is a “free alternative weekly” magazine. This is pretty much par for the course. I remember the uproar in Atlanta when they gave a column to Neil Boortz. The idea of being exposed to a few square inches of conservative thought gave their liberal readers a stroke. |
 Comment by Laura May 8th, 2004 at 10:51 am |
“They’re almost as scary as the terrorist ones in some ways….” Daryl, tell your wife to quit teaching the kids how to make nerve gas. |
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Comment by Daryl May 8th, 2004 at 2:09 pm |
VX is too tough. Instead, try this. |
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Comment by Traci May 8th, 2004 at 4:07 pm |
Errrr Grrrr Let me at her,,, Must fight urge to remove her non-functioning brain & replace it with something more valuable … like maybe sawdust!!!!!! Please oh please let her be one of extreme feminists that are so appalled at the thought of women happily using their bodies for pro-creation because it means that they will have to tolerate a parasitic lifeform so that her maybe her kind will eventually become extinct! Perhaps breeding one less Educrat in the world. |
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Comment by Traci May 8th, 2004 at 4:34 pm |
Ugh,,, In my blinding blood red rage… I missed the one little line “that was before I had my own” |
 Comment by Rikki May 8th, 2004 at 10:53 pm |
This article put a big amused grin on my face. I asked my kids to spell homicide, so far only two of them seem capable of it. I guess that means I’m currently safe from one of them. 😉 Imagine, the world would cease to progress if women suddenly started liking to stay home with their kids! That would undermine the entire movement of women! It doesn’t exist so you could have the choice to like being a mom/wife, it exists so we can all be FREE from that form of slavery for our own good! heheheheh |
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Comment by J Aron May 9th, 2004 at 1:29 am |
The woman is clearly an ignorant and prejudiced and hateful person. What she wrote probably borders on hate-speech – but be that as it may – the newspaper she wrote it in will be on the bottom of someone’s birdcage too. Do you think people really think rantings like that hold any kernal of truth? If yes, then it is just because we all understand that not everyone finds the time to learn the truth for themselves, so they rely on idiots like this to inform them. More is the pity. |