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  • I Knew It!

    Filed at 11:43 am under by Scott Somerville

    You heard it from me first, but here’s the smoking gun:

    According to well-placed insiders on the Times’ Board of Directors, a shaken Sulzberger made that announcement in a hastily convened meeting of the Board of the Times’ parent company, The New York Times Corp. Sulzberger reportedly told the board that the discovery was made last week.

    “During an internal investigation, we reached the regrettable conclusion that Karl Rove has been running this newspaper since at least August, 2002,” Sulzberger reportedly stated. “His intention is clear – to ruin the reputation of the newspaper and the party that our editorial policy supports.”

    The White House denies it (what would you expect). Here’s their side of the story (courtesy of the old-fashioned “he said/she said” school of journalism):

    At the White House, Presidential Spokesman Tony Snow stated that he had spoken to Rove about the charges and that Rove is mystified.

    “Karl Rove has a whole planet to run,” said Snow with characteristic understatement, “he doesn’t have the time or inclination to run a parochial newspaper with a declining stock price and diminishing readership.”

    (Note: the byline reads “Satire News Service.)

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